scared

in kuwait or my familly we were raised to be scared my dad will hit us for the fun of it he really really love it when he see our little eyes come out from fearing him he likes that look and love the idea that we were scared and becouse we were raised scared i spent much more of my life scared when i was young and first yr of collage i used to be scared to walk the same isle with boys and if i look at one guy face to face and our eyes met i will see him spetting at me or looking at me disgustingly and sometine i will imagen that he hits me for yrs and yrs i i had these illusions and i was so afraid of men and more afraid to fall in
love

i teached my self how to look ugly not to put make up not to thread ur eyebrows and if a man stare at me i'll stare back in disgues why did i do that :( couse i was afraid of falling in love couse i was scared of my dad he will kill me if he knew
now i know thats not true and i should be stronge if i can bring time back i would love my self more
i didnt love me im 32 and i dont know the me inside couse i hated her back and scared her when i should comfort her

im really sorry for all these yrs he scared u and i backed him up
im sorry
and i promise that grl i always want
im sorry and i know how much ur hurt